Join me, ladies and gentlemen, for the journey of a lifetime. Join me in the depths of despair, horror, and fear. The journey will be hard, and you will need the help of others. You will have to face the truth of life, and look deep inside yourself for the source of strength to continue….
This week I have experienced another death inside our family circle. This death was unexpected and shocking, truly horrible for those of us left behind. Death is really a weird concept. We all know we have to do it. We are born, live, and die. That’s the truth. And yet, somehow, when it happens it seems so out of place. It’s so unusual and foreign. We are shocked and horrified that it happened to someone we loved. So here is what we need to do.
Feel it, live it, immerse yourself in it. That’s why we are here: to experience life in all of it’s forms. Cry until your head feels like it’s going to burst, scream, shake your fists at the heavens. Blame God, get mad, lose your breath and all sense of time and place. This is not a normal day. Then sit on your cushion, close your eyes, let the tears stain your shirt. Open your palms to the sky and quietly let the wisdom of the universe permeate your soul. The storm will pass and you will find peace.
We are warriors – spiritual warriors. It takes much more strength to endure suffering than go through life immune to ourselves. Some days the path is clear, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and we are holding our lovers hand. But some days, the path is dark and we can’t see. There might be a roadblock, or a wild animal in the shrubs watching us. Someone might try to run us over. It is at this moment you have to light your torch and thrust it into the sky for others to see. You have to become a spiritual warrior.
Shakespeare so eloquently stated in Hamlet’s soliloquy that to die, to sleep, “we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.” The Thousand Natural Shocks that Flesh is Heir To. Wow. That about sums it up people. We will have a thousand cuts upon our bodies and minds. Will we remain a block of marble, or chisel ourselves into a beautiful sculpture? It’s for you to decide. He writes that we have the choice to stay and fight, or bow out. But at what price? Death is, “the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no traveler returns, puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those ills we have, than fly to others that we know not of.” We cannot judge the decisions that others made. We cannot experience life the same way. We have no idea how bad it was inside, and what made them drop out of school, so to speak.
The death of someone close forces us to accept the terms of existence, no matter how crappy that deal seems to be sometimes. It’s the universe nudging us, saying, “Hey, remember to live each day fully, because it might be your last. Don’t get too cocky.”
There is a mantra used in Kundalini yoga called “wahe Guru”. Loosely defined, it can be translated as “wonderful teacher”. Wahe is more of an exclamation of ecstasy and wonder. It was taught to me as any event in life that is miraculous or wonderous. This can include anything great, or anything horrible. It is the impact of the event, if you get my drift. Guru, as a popular notion, is a teacher. It can also be thought of as the soul journey back to its original source. I will always think of a yoga teacher I had who said, “Guru: Gee, You Are You (G.U.R.U)” We are responsible for learning and advancing along the paths of our lives. But don’t get discouraged, we are all in the same boat. You might think you have the worst hand in the poker game, but you can’t see the cards the other guy is holding. He might be bluffing you.
So, if you are in utter darkness, accept it. You are in it. Immerse yourself in the pain. Your tears are the fuel for the fire of transformation, and you will be transformed. This will take time, so don’t rush yourself. And if one day you wake up and don’t feel sad, don’t guilt yourself into thinking you have to feel sad. It is the progression of the soul. Love and peace are the magnet we are attracted to, not persistent darkness. Our loved ones on the other side are closer than you think, and they want us to be happy. We will see them again.
If, for some reason you are stuck on the path, cannot find the light, and it isn’t getting easier after some time, then talk to someone, anyone. Call a friend, open up to the cashier at the grocery store – anything at all. Message me here if you want someone to listen. Because we all want you to succeed in your quest in becoming a spiritual warrior.