Mistakes=a million, Regrets=0


Yesterday, my boyfriend listened to a story of mine about how I drank a LOT when I was a teenager and seemed to survive. This story, among a whole bunch of other terrifying memories of my youth, can send me into a tailspin of regret….if I let it.

He asked me after listening to this about whether I regretted doing it. My answer was “no”, and here is the reason why. We all make mistakes. We make LOTS of mistakes. I bet if you tried to figure out how many mistakes you have made in your entire life, you wouldn’t be able to count that high. Not to mention, we may not even remember all the mistakes we’ve made, or even know about some of the mistakes we’ve made. We are human. That’s something that humans do on a regular basis. I routinely try to give myself a break. I forgive myself for being myself.

That being said, there is another good reason. Mistakes are teachers. Mistakes show us that we are not perfect, that we have a lot to learn. No matter how old we are, mistakes will continue to occur. Mistakes are not only teachers, they are the most valuable teacher we could have.

Not making mistakes will not make you smarter, or richer, or happier. Not making mistakes will cheat you out of the experiences that you need to evolve into a more knowledgeable person. Mistakes are the magic that holds life together, and I love them.

I don’t love mistakes when I am making them, but I sure do when I look back in retrospect and see them for the formative, enlightening moments that they are. Don’t fear making mistakes, but take the time to evaluate what they taught you…..or hopefully taught you.

Try hard not to repeat making the same mistake, because this indicates that you didn’t learn what you were supposed to learn the first time. Rather, make new, interesting mistakes! Try everything. Experience life, because we really don’t know what will happen when we cross to the other side…..not with utmost certainty. This is it. Try, try, try, until you don’t have the energy any more.

If you catch yourself saying, “Oh man, I shouldn’t have done that”, remember, to say it as a teacher might say to a student, not like a mother might say to a child. Say it factually, without condemnation. Say it with conviction to acknowledge it, learn it, dismiss it, and not repeat it. You are an incredible learning machine, aren’t you?

Have a wonderful weekend. Now, get out there and make a mistake.

Cheers, Deb

Scary Monsters

Nosferatu, the Vampire

Do you like to be scared? Are you the first person to stand in line for the next horror flick? I have to tell you that I have always been attracted to the feeling of being scared. Not the kind of scared like, get in an accident scared, but the kind of scared that comes with ghosts, monsters, the occult, and the paranormal.

Get ready kids, because October is here. It’s time to GET SCARED. Let me just remind you that there are plenty of other people out there just like me. Stephen King didn’t become the “master of horror” and best-selling novelist, with movies made from his books, from just a few of us. There are a lot of us.

Here’s where it gets weird. Of all the things in life my boyfriend and I share in our life: similar likes, dislikes, philosophies, and whatnot, he is not a person who likes to be scared. If I want to watch a horror movie, I have to do it on my own (or when his daughter visits). He hates going to see them, he dislikes scary books as well. He did attend a couple ghost tours with me, which I have to thank him for. Side note: a ghost tour in Gettysburg is an absolute MUST. That place is most haunted for sure, and creepy, creepy, creepy.

One psychiatric newsletter online states that there are reasons you are either a “like to be scared” person or a “don’t like to be scared person.”

Here we go, people like me:

  1. Feeling fear is as old of an emotion as man himself. The feeling of fear stimulates your “flight or fight” response, activating hormones that cause bodily changes. Feeling fear creates distraction, and makes us think about nothing else at the time. It brings us into the present moment.
  2. We are social creatures, and emotions are contagious, so when we are in fearful situations with others, it bonds us together.
  3. Finally, when we realize that this is not a true threat, we gain control over it. Feeling in control makes us satisfied, and confident that we can face threatening things and overcome them.

People that don’t like to be scared have some imbalance between the fear and the control. If an experience seems too real, an extreme fear response comes out. If an experience is not triggering the emotional brain – it’s too unreal- then it’s just boring for them.

Some people exhibit extreme fear in some situations and not in others, so they may enjoy something like “Nightmare on Elm Street”, but can’t watch “The Exorcist”, because the notion that demonic spirits could invade your body is just too real for them.

This time of the year is especially fun for people like me who enjoy an occasional trip down paranormal lane. Before Halloween I will blog more about truly terrifying phenomena in my own life. But, for the time being, just remember that not everyone gets a warm, fuzzy feeling from a cold, prickly source. For me personally, it’s the notion that not everything is as cut and dry as it appears to be. There’s a lot of stuff out there we don’t know is there. The human brain probably can’t cope with reality in all its forms. It would be truly mind-blowing.

For now, dig out that pumpkin and orange lights, put a little costume on the family pet, and at least hit the corn maze. Haunted houses? No thanks, the commercial ones are too gorey for me, I’d rather visit a truly haunted one.

Cheers, and happy haunting, Deb

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