Releasing That Which Does Not Serve You

I’m going to talk about something very personal today, which I think may help some of you in a similar situation. My youngest daughter and I were at one time extremely close. She had experiences as a teen that only I tried to understand. I didn’t judge her, I just listened, and I think that was the best thing for her at that time in her life.

As things went on, I divorced my children’s father, and eventually found a new person to travel life with. She, as well, grew up, and found her partner. She has been married for four years and has two children. About the time she met her partner, things just started getting different between us. It was as if we realized we didn’t fit in the same position we once did for each other. We slowly became estranged. Things got very strained, and weird, and I don’t think either of us really knew why.

I spent about 5 years trying to understand why she seemingly hated me. While this is probably untrue, that is how we talk to ourselves sometimes. I moved away for 2 years, which made the situation worse. I purposefully flew back home to visit her family at least every 3-4 months, because I wanted to see my grandson (as well as her) so badly. I meditated, and prayed over this situation relentlessly.

Finally, just before she gave birth to my second grandchild, I just couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like I was tied to the whipping tree, and every time I reached out to her, she hurt me more. What to do? I gave up, and then saw an ad on Instagram by a psychic healer that I followed. She was interesting, and put forth pretty rational thinking, so I made an appointment to speak to her.

Immediately upon speaking, she could sense my pain. I gave up no information, however, once pressed on why I was so sad and frustrated, I explained the situation. She said she felt my daughter and I were connected so strongly – so tightly to one another, that neither of us could breathe. She went on to see that we were connected by our root chakras. This is the base chakra at the bottom of our spines. The root chakra connects us to the Earth, and builds the foundation for the rest of our energetic being, however, I don’t believe it is meant to be shared with another person.

After speaking for about 40 minutes, she gave me the best advice I ever received: cut the cord. If I could just CUT THE CORD energetically, through my psychic self, we could both heal and I would finally be free of the pain. We had to distance ourselves from each other in order to grow.

Long story short, it worked. I started working on healing myself. I began giving myself some love and space and stopped beating myself up over it. I immediately, and I do mean IMMEDIATELY, began to feel a great weight lifting off of my shoulders.

We are doing much better today. I see her as much as I can, and love to spend time with my grandchildren. We had it out with each other, and I was surprised to find that it bothered her almost more than it bothered me. We are two peas in a pod. The bottom line is, that relationships can be difficult. We aren’t here to breeze through our lives with no conflict; that’s not what helps us learn.

I kept hearing through years and years of yoga practice, “release the things that no longer serve you.” This was a prime example. I needed to release guilt, fear, frustration, and imaginary scenes of what I thought our relationship should look like. Release the stuff that just makes you crazy. Let it go, and somehow it will right itself. Great advice that I could have listened to earlier finally materialized in my stubborn self.

If you do self care first, you will have enough care to give to others. Stay well, Cheers, Deb

Awake in a crowd

About a month ago I attended a meetup group with some strangers entitled, “Spirit readings and spiritual communication”. Having declared 2020 the year I would “vibrate higher”, I decided to attend. The reason for my declaration is simply that I have gotten to the point in my life where I am finding material things very disappointing. Don’t get me wrong, I love a nice vacation, a dependable car, a comfortable house, and the ability to afford to do what I want.

I can afford the basic stuff, I’m just not into fluff. I find no reason for clothes shopping if I don’t need that article of clothing, for instance. You may, or may not, get my drift. That’s just the point. If you DO get my drift, then you may be ready to “vibrate higher”. It is my belief that I get a lot more out of life simply by talking to people, or hanging out with people who are awake. By awake, I mean, they are also on a path of expanding their minds, their consciousness, and seeing what life is really about.

These “awake” people can connect with you on a slightly different level. You won’t talk about shopping, or mortgage rates. You won’t go out with one of them to get your nails done. But….you may strike up a conversation about what you dreamt last night, and the meaning of the dream. Or, you might talk about meditation styles, people that have been your mentors on this path, or how you intuit situations. What does life mean at the root of it? Where are we going as a human species, and on, and on,…….

I guess what I am describing is a love of mental stimulation; the ability to feel other people’s energy and share a communal peace. It’s very hippie. I know. But maybe that is what we need right now. I don’t want to watch the news, it makes me crazy. I would rather sit quietly and look at the birds outside of my window.

What I received at that meetup was in interaction with people that immediately “got me”. You may have had this experience yourself. It made me feel happy, and peaceful. One guy in attendance looked at me, and I looked at him, and we both knew we had met somewhere before, we just couldn’t place our finger on where. He said, “I like to attend these types of groups, because I just like being around other awake people.” AHA! That’s it! I ruminate on that sentence occasionally.

That’s the essence of living, to be around like-minded people that can lift you up. We travel this path together, perhaps in soul groupings that learn with each other in different incarnations (if you’re up for that belief). And even if you don’t believe that – it’s okay. You will find other like-minded people to learn with. Try to find them. Try to live in a higher vibration, and you will discover that you really don’t have to believe everything floating around in your brain. Hold onto the thoughts that serve you and throw away the others. I will continue to search for my awakened friends. If you feel like you are getting there……wherever that may be, leave me a little comment.

Hey, have a great weekend. Relax and enjoy the spin. Love, Deb

Merry Christ consciousness

Merry Christmas, no matter what tradition you follow, or if you follow a tradition. Christmas to me, as an American female raised in the Midwest, holds many meanings.

As a child, and up until my 40’s, I would respect traditional Christian teaching and go to church for Christmas service. Christmas has remained my favorite time of the year, not only for commemorating the coming of Christ into physical form, but as a time of hopefulness.

Christmas should be the quiet time of reflection that leads to a sense of peace and security. It should be the last bastion of hope for humankind as far as extending the olive branch of peace. May all people be filled with a loving kindness that permeates any divisions among us.

No matters of religion, gender, political affiliation, age, or wealth gap should separate us from each other at any time! But, we try to be more mindful of this at Christmastime. Why should we? More and more we are embracing a new wave of “Christ consciousness”. What is this, you may ask.

This term may be thought of as “new age”……but I find it to be applicable now more than ever, as we continue to be more interconnected as a species.

Christ consciousness can be defined as: a state of consciousness where a person has found self-realization, and through this, their unity with God (or the Universe, the light, or the energy) that we are all a part of. The expansion of your identity through this body to the omnipresent spirit, will help you realize your consciousness extends throughout the universe.

Wow! Because this thought is not fundamentally Biblical in nature, it may be rejected as anti-Christian. But, I would extend to you, that this may be exactly what Christ was trying to teach through parables and miracles. Any act of self-realization is good for the planet. It shines a light on the fact that we are all pretty much the same, in form and experience. Christ never taught divisiveness or hatred, jealousy, or judgement by another person. We all have lessons to learn, and love to give.

So, as we say in church, let your light shine…..Merry Christmas everyone. Let’s share some love and peace this holiday season. Cheers, Deb

Spiritual Warrior

Join me, ladies and gentlemen, for the journey of a lifetime. Join me in the depths of despair, horror, and fear. The journey will be hard, and you will need the help of others. You will have to face the truth of life, and look deep inside yourself for the source of strength to continue….

This week I have experienced another death inside our family circle. This death was unexpected and shocking, truly horrible for those of us left behind. Death is really a weird concept. We all know we have to do it. We are born, live, and die. That’s the truth. And yet, somehow, when it happens it seems so out of place. It’s so unusual and foreign. We are shocked and horrified that it happened to someone we loved. So here is what we need to do.

Feel it, live it, immerse yourself in it. That’s why we are here: to experience life in all of it’s forms. Cry until your head feels like it’s going to burst, scream, shake your fists at the heavens. Blame God, get mad, lose your breath and all sense of time and place. This is not a normal day. Then sit on your cushion, close your eyes, let the tears stain your shirt. Open your palms to the sky and quietly let the wisdom of the universe permeate your soul. The storm will pass and you will find peace.

We are warriors – spiritual warriors. It takes much more strength to endure suffering than go through life immune to ourselves. Some days the path is clear, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and we are holding our lovers hand. But some days, the path is dark and we can’t see. There might be a roadblock, or a wild animal in the shrubs watching us. Someone might try to run us over. It is at this moment you have to light your torch and thrust it into the sky for others to see. You have to become a spiritual warrior.

Shakespeare so eloquently stated in Hamlet’s soliloquy that to die, to sleep, “we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.” The Thousand Natural Shocks that Flesh is Heir To. Wow. That about sums it up people. We will have a thousand cuts upon our bodies and minds. Will we remain a block of marble, or chisel ourselves into a beautiful sculpture? It’s for you to decide. He writes that we have the choice to stay and fight, or bow out. But at what price? Death is, “the undiscovered country, from whose bourn no traveler returns, puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those ills we have, than fly to others that we know not of.” We cannot judge the decisions that others made. We cannot experience life the same way. We have no idea how bad it was inside, and what made them drop out of school, so to speak.

The death of someone close forces us to accept the terms of existence, no matter how crappy that deal seems to be sometimes. It’s the universe nudging us, saying, “Hey, remember to live each day fully, because it might be your last. Don’t get too cocky.”

There is a mantra used in Kundalini yoga called “wahe Guru”. Loosely defined, it can be translated as “wonderful teacher”. Wahe is more of an exclamation of ecstasy and wonder. It was taught to me as any event in life that is miraculous or wonderous. This can include anything great, or anything horrible. It is the impact of the event, if you get my drift. Guru, as a popular notion, is a teacher. It can also be thought of as the soul journey back to its original source. I will always think of a yoga teacher I had who said, “Guru: Gee, You Are You (G.U.R.U)” We are responsible for learning and advancing along the paths of our lives. But don’t get discouraged, we are all in the same boat. You might think you have the worst hand in the poker game, but you can’t see the cards the other guy is holding. He might be bluffing you.

So, if you are in utter darkness, accept it. You are in it. Immerse yourself in the pain. Your tears are the fuel for the fire of transformation, and you will be transformed. This will take time, so don’t rush yourself. And if one day you wake up and don’t feel sad, don’t guilt yourself into thinking you have to feel sad. It is the progression of the soul. Love and peace are the magnet we are attracted to, not persistent darkness. Our loved ones on the other side are closer than you think, and they want us to be happy. We will see them again.

If, for some reason you are stuck on the path, cannot find the light, and it isn’t getting easier after some time, then talk to someone, anyone. Call a friend, open up to the cashier at the grocery store – anything at all. Message me here if you want someone to listen. Because we all want you to succeed in your quest in becoming a spiritual warrior.

Blessings, Deb

Become a Spiritual Warrior

Angel at the car door

how divine…

Let me start out here by saying that all people believe in things they cannot see. Even if you are a devout atheist, you probably still believe the world is round, the universe goes on infinitely, and you probably love someone. Have you really been to outer space, or visualized a feeling like love? You have experienced it in your mind and body, and it has stimulated chemicals in your brain that make you behave differently. My point is, you can’t see love, but you can feel it. Lately, angels have made a big comeback in popular culture. There are several books and movies on angels, and talk of angels from people who report being able to see or communicate with them. I believe in angels, and this is why….

All Abrahamic religions believe in the existence of angels. Christians, Jews, Muslims, Mormons, Buddhists, and to some extent Hindus all have some idea of what their purpose is and how they look. Mostly, angels are thought to be nonhuman, enlightened beings, that somehow watch over us and respond to us, usually in times of need or spiritual depression. They may be seen as the traditional human figure with wings; a kind of beautiful genderless form, or be invisible, speak to you in dreams, or be centers of bright light. Some of the above religions also believe that we each have a “guardian angel” or more than one angel that watches over each of us specifically. I believe I have guardian spirits, but I don’t recognize them as “angels” per se. More on that in future posts.

Once, when I was about 19, I was driving my first car, a 1976 Plymouth Duster, up one of the main streets in town. We were in the midst of a giant snowstorm, and snow was piling up fast, making the street almost impossible to drive through. Cars were getting stuck left and right. Sure enough, my old Plymouth was spinning its wheels in a long line of cars trying to get up the the stoplight and get through before they also got stuck. This was long before cell phones were even thought of. I was starting to panic, and wasn’t sure what to do. Do I leave the car in the middle of the street, stranding other people behind me? I looked around frantically trying to figure out the answer, when all of a sudden I looked up and saw the face of a middle aged man in a winter hat and glasses standing outside my driver-side window. “Are you stuck?,” he asked. I told him not only stuck, but my car just died and wouldn’t start. I thought how strange it was that I hadn’t seen him actually walking towards my car, he was just there. “Okay, try it again,” he said. I turned the key, and the car started. “You should be okay now.” My car started gripping the road, and I was moving. I turned my head left to tell him thanks, but he was gone. It was like he disappeared into thin air. Confusing, but all I could do was keep driving in order to reach my destination before the car stalled again. Many years have gone by and I still don’t know where he came from. I believe he may have been an angel. Yes, I know, you don’t believe me. Here’s another more recent event…

Last year I was suffering from periods of depression related to my daughter. I was living in Seattle for a couple of years, and she had my only grandchild in Colorado, and was also pregnant with the second one. The doctor had reported it would be a boy, and we were good with that. Relations between us had been strained for awhile. The reasons are long, and involved. You can read a book that will shed light on this. The title is “34” and can be found on Amazon under my pen name, Debra Fulton. As can be found in the book, we were both under the impression the child would be a girl. This particular day, I was on vacation in Michigan with my partner and his daughter, seeing his family. My best friend had called me the day before, and I was venting to her about the internal strain I was feeling with said daughter.

I was taking a break, lying on the bed, and started to cry. I asked something or someone to please help mend the rift between us. I loved her so much, and missed them all. I missed my grandson, and wanted a good relationship more than I could express. Then, I felt an overwhelming state of calm wash over my body. I stopped crying and felt peace. In my mind’s eye, I suddenly saw the most beautiful creature. It took the shape of an angel. It looked male, with a physical body that could challenge the most exquisite sculptures of DaVinci, or Michelangelo. His hair was shoulder-length and curly blond. The wings were enormous, reaching from far above his head to far below his feet. There, in his hands he held a single pink carnation, and seemingly “gave” it to me. I was astonished and amazed. This was the most beautiful thing I had ever “seen”. What was with the flower? I googled pink carnation and found this: “pink carnations carry the greatest significance, beginning with the belief that they first appeared on earth from the Virgin Mary’s tears – making them the symbol of a mother’s undying love.”

Oh my God, a mother’s undying love. He had nailed it. I had never heard the meaning of a pink carnation before. There it was, staring me in the face from my computer screen. I was really crying now, but not with sadness. I cried with such relief and hope; I knew something good would come of all this. Not a half hour later, my phone rang – it was my daughter. She was ecstatic with news to tell me. “What is going on?” I said.

“It’s a girl! It’s a girl! The doctor was wrong, and now that I am farther along, they verified that it’s not a boy….it’s a girl! I knew it! I knew it wasn’t a boy.”

We both laughed and talked about how great the news was. Inside, we both knew the boy report seemed wrong. Now we could verify that our predictions were right all along. I felt so happy. I told her I loved her, and she told me she loved me too. It was all too perfect. Had the angel changed something? Was he telling me to hold out…the news would be coming soon? I can’t explain this chain of events. But I can tell you that I think of that day and how preposterous it was, and I know that angel was real. He was just the most beautiful thing I ever saw.

No, I haven’t seen another angel since. But, yes, I do believe I will at some time in the future when I really need help. I was listening to a youtube video from a woman named Lorna Byrne. She is described as an Irish mystic. This woman has been seeing and speaking to angelic figures since she was a child. A very interesting woman, she insists that we are just spiritual beings having a human experience. The name of her book is, “Angels in My Hair”. It’s on my reading list. If you don’t believe in such things, obviously you wouldn’t want to pick it up. I guess I’m just reporting experiences to you, like we all do with each other. You can believe or not believe, it doesn’t bother me a bit. Belief systems are so deep, and almost impossible to change, that there’s really no point in trying. I just thought you might be interested in my two examples of angel activity. Be on the lookout – you might experience one yourself.

Remember, “follow” me for more blogs about the unknown and mysterious. Have a beautiful day!

reading list