I’m going to talk about something very personal today, which I think may help some of you in a similar situation. My youngest daughter and I were at one time extremely close. She had experiences as a teen that only I tried to understand. I didn’t judge her, I just listened, and I think that was the best thing for her at that time in her life.
As things went on, I divorced my children’s father, and eventually found a new person to travel life with. She, as well, grew up, and found her partner. She has been married for four years and has two children. About the time she met her partner, things just started getting different between us. It was as if we realized we didn’t fit in the same position we once did for each other. We slowly became estranged. Things got very strained, and weird, and I don’t think either of us really knew why.
I spent about 5 years trying to understand why she seemingly hated me. While this is probably untrue, that is how we talk to ourselves sometimes. I moved away for 2 years, which made the situation worse. I purposefully flew back home to visit her family at least every 3-4 months, because I wanted to see my grandson (as well as her) so badly. I meditated, and prayed over this situation relentlessly.
Finally, just before she gave birth to my second grandchild, I just couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like I was tied to the whipping tree, and every time I reached out to her, she hurt me more. What to do? I gave up, and then saw an ad on Instagram by a psychic healer that I followed. She was interesting, and put forth pretty rational thinking, so I made an appointment to speak to her.
Immediately upon speaking, she could sense my pain. I gave up no information, however, once pressed on why I was so sad and frustrated, I explained the situation. She said she felt my daughter and I were connected so strongly – so tightly to one another, that neither of us could breathe. She went on to see that we were connected by our root chakras. This is the base chakra at the bottom of our spines. The root chakra connects us to the Earth, and builds the foundation for the rest of our energetic being, however, I don’t believe it is meant to be shared with another person.
After speaking for about 40 minutes, she gave me the best advice I ever received: cut the cord. If I could just CUT THE CORD energetically, through my psychic self, we could both heal and I would finally be free of the pain. We had to distance ourselves from each other in order to grow.
Long story short, it worked. I started working on healing myself. I began giving myself some love and space and stopped beating myself up over it. I immediately, and I do mean IMMEDIATELY, began to feel a great weight lifting off of my shoulders.
We are doing much better today. I see her as much as I can, and love to spend time with my grandchildren. We had it out with each other, and I was surprised to find that it bothered her almost more than it bothered me. We are two peas in a pod. The bottom line is, that relationships can be difficult. We aren’t here to breeze through our lives with no conflict; that’s not what helps us learn.
I kept hearing through years and years of yoga practice, “release the things that no longer serve you.” This was a prime example. I needed to release guilt, fear, frustration, and imaginary scenes of what I thought our relationship should look like. Release the stuff that just makes you crazy. Let it go, and somehow it will right itself. Great advice that I could have listened to earlier finally materialized in my stubborn self.
If you do self care first, you will have enough care to give to others. Stay well, Cheers, Deb